Saturday, April 5, 2008


Recently I was talking by phone with a JW. He has come to the realization that he no longer wants to be one. For me a very interesting moment came when I heard his wife in the background. She was criticizing our conversation. I began to reflect on the difficulty spouses have with mates who leave the WT. His wife was complaining that it made no sense in her mind why her husband should be seeking out exJWs to talk with. "Why not just leave if you want to go?", she cries.

How unnatural such thinking is. People normally seek out support groups and forums to share common experiences. Common experiences bind people together. Why would so many JWs, exJWs, and so many of the spouses of former JWs, feel this sort of bonding is wrong? Could it be because of the indoctrination by Watchtower that forbids any going back and criticizing? Any grouping together to discuss grievances? The indoctrination that says that any discussion of JW grievances constitutes negative talk and negative thinking?

Could it be because such bonding and sharing furthers the possibility that their mates will stay out of the organization? JW spouses worst nightmare is often living in a "religiously divided" household. JWs go to great lengths not to marry "unbelievers". Wives can go from having an honored place as an elders wife to being related to an "apostate". These spouses have no one to talk with about God and the Bible, matters that are very close to their hearts, even if their mate remains Christian because they are forbidden by Watchtower to discuss "spiritual" matters with the "apostate" mate. Is it possible that in the case of my new found friends wife she hopes that he "comes to his senses" and in seeking support that possibility further diminishes? One can only wonder.

Isaac Carmignani

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