Beyond Jehovah's Witnesses

Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T18:48:00.000-07:00

Here's to Michael Jackson, a young JW who was a victim of that vicious doublespeak. Someone who could never stabilize after being exposed to such dissonant thinking. He MAY have done the bad things attributed to him. But let us never forget from where he came. Michael, we loved you!

For those interested, a NYC radio station KTU, is celebrating his life by playing his music till midnight. The link to listen live is here: http://www.ktu.com/main.html

Isaac Carmignani

The Fall Of Theocracy

2009-06-20T22:59:00.000-07:00

Okay so maybe that title is a little sensational. And maybe the notion of theocracy is not going anywhere soon. But the concept that a few men speak for God is being successfully challenged in Iran this week. Cleric Khamenei called the election results a "divine assessment". Yet not long after that he had to bend to the will of the people enough to call for a partial evaluation and recount. That is BIG. Further, not all of the clerics agree with the "divine assessment"! And that disagreement is public. (For more check out this interview on CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/meast/06/19/zakaria.iran.elections/index.html)

No wonder today there were large protests on the streets of Iran. Perhaps, the GB in Brooklyn should turn on their TV's and computers and learn something.

Isaac Carmignani

Moving On, yet staying in touch

2009-05-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

As time has gone by I have moved so far away from the cult I was raised in that it almost seems as if that rearing never took place. This is not to say that I don't feel it's effects. But we all have something to deal with inside ourselves, most of us learn to turn adversity into advantage. I like to think that I have as well.

In recent days I have become so active in my community, as a volunteer, at work and socially, that I find it difficult to update this blog. I want to keep it out there though because people in this community need to see that those who leave can and often do lead productive and full lives afterward.

For example in my own life, I've integrated into my community as mentioned in my profile, finding myself now as a somewhat effective parent leader in my school district. Lately I have found myself acting as President of my CEC (www.cec30,net). I am a union rep at work advocating for my fellow maintenance and engineering professionals. I am also back in school as of the fall semester to pursue (somewhat slowly) my dream of being a full fledged member of the scientific community, possibly in the areas of criminology and government.

Religion for me is not what it once was. I focus now on reality: what is, rather than ideology and what MAY have happened in some far flung and romanticized past. In fact I've suspended judgment on all things God related, waiting for some harder evidence to surface. However occasionally you will see something here as I find things that interest me. To advocate and help those who are in the JW and ex-JW community, I remain an active poster at a forum that I earnestly invite you to visit if you want to learn more about this world. It is www.jehovahs-witness.net and I can be found there as the poster truthsetsonefree. The posters "Leolaia" and "Lady Lee" as well as the ones to be found in the "Best of" series (http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/best-of) I especially recommend.

I will focus my blogging in the future on education related topics and possibly politics as I focus my efforts on helping to make NYC School District 30 even better than it already is. Please visit me there or at JWN.

Isaac

Jude

2009-04-11T15:01:00.000-07:00

As a JW I still tried to think logically. Thus the issue of a passage in the book of Jude being almost identical as one in an "apocryphal" book like 1 Enoch held not only my interest but raised serious questions about the premise of the Bible's being "inspired of God". I recommend the thread below written by an impeccable researcher on the JWN forum. It is "food for thinking Christians".

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/85223/1/Jude-and-1-Enoch

Isaac

An interesting and accurate thread....

2008-12-11T17:19:00.001-08:00

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/168958/1.ashx

Isaac

My Journey-Cruel and Unusual Punishment

2008-12-06T08:41:00.000-08:00

Let the Beatings Begin

Beatings and whippings were routine. So conditioned was I by corporeal punishment that one day something happened that my Mom recalled with pride for many years afterwards. I was three (maybe a little younger), I know because we were living in Hell's Kitchen at the time. I had done something wrong but my Mom didn't know about it. Maybe I had broken something. Anyway my Mom used these plastic jump ropes to whip me with. She called them "the greenies" because they came in different colors and she had a huge supply of green ones. So I went, took the "greenie" from where it was hanging and went to my Mom, told her what I did, handed the "greenie" to her and ASKED for a beating! I was there for my punishment! I don't know if she actually gave me my whooping or not. But I often wonder, was I nuts? I would later unlearn this foolish craving for discipline as I will explain shortly.

Meetings were the premier occasion for physical torture. To this day people in that area of Brooklyn remember my Mom. She would sit in the front row. Always the front. To this day she must sit at least near the front. In the back were all the "weak" Witnesses. I was to be up front away from them and their kids taking in every word. So everyone would see how whenever my attention deviated she would grab the ear lobe closest to her and pinch, pull and twist it all at the same time. Gosh that hurt. Everyone would see it. But she couldn't be told anything. There were some of those "weak" teenage girls sitting in the back who felt so sorry for me that they on occasion would pass notes up front to my Mom telling her to stop pulling my ears! Boy did that make her blood boil. I remember once after we got home from the meeting her ranting that she would never change her ways. "I am like Br. Rutherford. Bold, courageous." I kid you not that is a direct quote.

I have very prominent ears that I get from my Dad. But I often think to myself that my Mom must have stretched them a centimeter or two. I think she resorted to this ear pulling because my Dad never really attended meetings regularly. And after a time, when I was six or seven the elders insisted that she not take me to the Ladies' Room anymore. Yup, that's right, so paranoid that I would be with the "little worldly boys" whose parents were not good Witnesses in her eyes was she, that she would take me in the women's bathroom. Once she couldn't do that anymore the spankings had to wait till we got home. Thus the earlobe pulling. And boy did I get spanking when we would get home. They were outright whippings. They would usually begin with a long lecture (it being a school night made no difference). Scriptures would be used, scary ones about Armageddon and that damned "eagle of the torrent valley" in Proverbs that would pick my eyes out. Then she would grab a belt, (later in life she would graduate to brooms), have me strip down to underwear, and whip me till the welts were almost bleeding. Usually she used belts. But if she couldn't find a belt as I took to hiding them, or if she felt that I had been REALLY bad she would use extension cords. God did they hurt. All the while I would try to shield myself from them, with little success. Now understand, I wasn't a bad kid. Being bad would never have justified this kind of treatment. But to do this to a child because they could not sit still at a long and boring meeting is just plain sick. Evil. How in God's name can a parent do this I will never understand. I can barely yelling at my daughter. Forget about beatings? Leaving marks and occasionally drawing blood. How the hell did my Mom do it to me? And how did my Dad allow it to go on? Year after bloody year? Till finally one day I said firmly "NO, you will never whip me again." When that didn't stop her I perfected the art of catching the belt, at which time she graduated to longer and harder objects. And she was always careful never to leave marks that the school could pick up on. (Of course in the seventies the schools weren't as keen on this as they are today.) So crazy was my mother that on at least one occasion that I can remember she came up to school, saw me acting up in class, pulled me out of class and beat me in the hallway. And yet in spite of this at every service meeting, circuit assembly, or other such function where interviews were called for she was the one used as the model. When Ray Richardson who is still at Bethel in I think Writing wanted someone for a slide talk he was working up, he sought out my Mom to be in the photo shoots.

Now my Mom is not entirely to blame. She came to this religion running away from EXTREMELY bad circumstances. Later she sought good advice on being a good parent. She receieved some help and even good advice. But at a very high price. And much of it left much to be desired. On child rearing much of what she was told was that Dr. Spock was encouraging parents to raise a bunch of brats. That one should BEAT one's child. Don't worry, he will not die. Further who had given her the jump ropes to use in beating me? A member of the ANOINTED. One of Christ's brothers, or should I say sisters, who used them on her daughters. Well if it is good enough for one of the "anointed" it must be OK for my Mom. This organization has been responsible both directly and indirectly for countless acts of brutality towards innocent and helpless children. Years of undermined self-esteem would be the inevitable result.

Isaac Carmignani

Today in NYC

2008-12-04T20:13:00.000-08:00

Today on the streets of NYC I ran into an old friend who had found this blog. It reminded me of how important it is to be out there conversating regarding this religion. I welcome emails so please keep in touch. For those of you in the New York Metro area I invite you to check out our Meetup group: Here is the URL: http://www.meetup.com/ExJWs-NYC/

Isaac

JWD closing down!!!!

2008-08-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

For those ofyou who haven't yet please peruse www.jehovahs-witness.com if you want a wealth of information on this cult. It will soon be shutting down. There will be some means to browse the archives but that means has yet to be announced. My thoughts on this are posted below as I wrote them on JWD:

"Simon, I am truly grateful for all that you and your team have done. I myself have directed people here and they have been helped tremendously. One good thing is that Web 2.0 tools such as YouTube, local meetup groups with discussion boards, and blogs, the ex-JW community will be able to flourish by other means. Maybe one of the best testimonies to our success at leaving this cult is that we assimilate back in society as a whole. That we "rejoin the human race" as Ray Franz said. That we don't remain dependent on an "organization" whether benign or otherwise.

Good luck on your life. I will never forget my experience here."

Isaac

Must see video

2008-06-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

The JW convention drama is truly a call for JWs to suffer, not go to college and wait for the world's end to come. I'll let it speak for itself... When you go to YouTube and view this first scene, the others will be there as well.

Isaac

Another blood victory

2008-05-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

This article refers to a recent case in Canada against the JWs. More and more it is getting difficult for WT to win in this matter.

http://www.edmontonsun.com/Comment/2008/05/23/5646826-sun.html

Isaac

My Journey-Man Walks On The Moon...I Remain In The Stone Age

2008-05-21T19:48:00.000-07:00

Ever since I started posting here I have wanted to tell my story. But being long and in many ways painful. I hope to get some of it out in these My Journey posts. I hope that they help someone out there....

My Journey-The Early Years

I was born in a hospital called Polyclinic in Manhattan NY. New York City has never been the same. I am a half-breed, mother Puerto Rican (first generation) my father Italian (second generation), and from the hospital I was taken to live in Hell's Kitchen in the fall of the year 1966. At this time many Puerto Rican and Irish immigrants were struggling with life and one another in this part of New York. (For more details I encouraged viewing the musical West Side Story.)

So in the middle of this commotion one little boy began his days. Some strange things took place. For example there are home movies of my Mom dressing me up as a little girl (hair and all) and letting me run around on the roof of the tenement that we lived in. She controlled me with a rope "leash." She says that she always wanted a little girl...Gee I wanted to have a son, but I never made my daughter look like a boy.

But things were to get stranger still. My Mom had suffered many indignities and injustices by the time I came along. From extreme poverty in PR and a very hard life there resulting in part from the untimely death of my grandmother of tuberculosis to struggling to help her stepmother care for ten brothers and sisters in a dilapidated NYC apartment. Is it any wonder then that when Jehovah's Witnesses showed up promising a soon to come Paradise, she with limited education and broken English eagerly embraced their message?

Not long afterward at the Wollman skating rink in Central Park she met the man who would become my Dad. He was also running away from problems and so they both, propelled by situations that were unpleasant and by the fact that neither of them were "good marriage material" by dub standards were married by Richard Wheelock in 1964. (Some of you will recognize Rich Wheelock as a longtime Factory Overseer and Committee member at Bethel. He ended up drawing attention to the depression and psychological ailments plaguing Bethelites when he was found behind a dumpster underneath his Bethel window dead. He had committed suicide by jumping from his window after suffering a long bout of depression following his wife's death. I guess it finally dawned on the GB after that incident that if psychological problems were the result of spiritual deficiencies, Br. Wheelock should have been the last to suffer.)

So there I was in the Times Square Congregation beginning my "theocratic" career. But we were soon to move. Where to? To Bushwick Brooklyn. All around Jews and Italians were vacating the area and the area was in decline. So that is where the young couple decides to buy a house.

Man Walks On The Moon...I Remain In The Stone Age

Being the perfect Witness, dysfunctional, fanatic and devoted my Mom attracted attention. She did everything the Society said to the letter. And I mean to THE letter. With the tees crossed and the i's dotted. So it was that her and I were always put forward as the model JWs. Especially in a community where we were the only whites (or as close as we could get), where most blacks were just crawling out of the bondage that was (and in many ways still is) racist America, did we stand out. Here was a woman who had a husband that could support her. Most sisters in the congregation had to work, had no husbands and had little time to follow the Society's many rules and regulations. So to the elders and particularly the Bethelites my Mom was a shining star. And she made sure to always make them feel welcome at our house.

In that congregation we were the only ones to own a house, at least when we first moved there. So at 3.5 years of age in 1969-1970 when a part on the circuit assembly was presented to teach everyone how to sing at meetings, my Mom and I were on the stage at the newly purchased Bliss Theatre along with several others singing Song 110 in the old songbook "We Thank You Jehovah." And being the "perfect," pompous little kid that I was being trained to be I outsang everyone. To this day people in that circuit remember me as the little kid singing "We Thank You Jehovah."

Of course, WT wants people's time and devotion. Anything else that interferes is worldly, a tool of the Devil and must be shunned. Thus it was that television, radio, movies, toys, candy, the kids at the Hall whose parents weren't training them "properly," (which was all of them) and anything else considered "worldly" or "fun" was off limits.

I can recall watching television ONCE, yes just once as a child. I distinctly remember sitting on my Dad's lap watching the lunar craters go by on TV. It was just about the only wholesome thing in my mother's eyes that I could watch. (Is this why I have such a fascination with space exploration and why I always wanted to be an astronaut?) In any event, that memory is very vivid. We had a B&W TV set. It had a green chassis and contained tubes. I remember this because my Mom controlled the tubes. My Dad had no say so. She would pull tubes out of the back and hide them so that he couldn't use the TV. Every once in a while he would get ticked off and buy new ones. Particularly when Ray Franz was interviewed on TV regarding Malawi and now my Mom wanted to see it.

But lo and behold, the poor machine had had enough and no picture came out, only sound. That TV never showed a picture again. Therefore growing up I never did watch TV. To this day I love Nick at Nite because there are so many shows I STILL have never seen. I did not watch TV from that moon shot until 1983, I kid you not folks. I will elaborate on how that happened later. For now let us just say that I was kept totally and completely isolated from ALL outside influence. Thats right ALL of it. I went to a movie ONCE between the ages of 0 and 19. That was to see The Ten Commandments.

I was taken to school and picked up. All the way through the sixth grade. And that wasn't just at the beginning and end of the day. I was never allowed to eat lunch in school. Too great a risk of being with the "worldly" kids. I was brought home for lunch where I would get my food, both physical and "spiritual." Holidays, birthdays, assemblies in the school auditorium, school plays, they were all strictly forbidden. I was kept absent or had the unpleasant experience of being sent out of class to sit in some other classroom. As a result I was terrified of everything. I'm tempted to say that I was afraid of my own shadow but I'm not sure if I even knew what my shadow looked like. Once when my Mom couldn't get me from school, I stayed in mortal terror, shaking like a leaf by security waiting for her to show. I stayed there it seemed at least two hours. Maybe it wasn't that long, but when school security told me that I had to go I stayed inside the schoolyard clinging to the fence until finally a pioneer sister in the congregation was able to come and get me.

To get to the meetings we would walk (my Mom didn't get her license till I was almost grown) the two blocks to the Hall. There were often cabals of kids "in the hood" that we would walk past. (Yes "new boy," I've been there.) One evening a few of them mugged my Mom. I was twelve, scared, and terrified. I did what came natural. I completely emptied my bladder all over my suit pants. We went to the Hall anyway and I sat through the meeting.

Many days when I was packing my bags for school my Mom would give me some publication to take to school. I was supposed to put this book on my desk as a catalyst for "incidental" witnessing. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Something bothered me about it. So I would take the bag, hold it right up to the shelf under the desk, and when I thought that no one was looking I'd shove the book into it, again looking around hoping that no one saw me. One day I forgot to check the classroom door. My Mom was there watching me. Boy did I get it when we got home. "Are you ashamed of the truth?" How could I tell her that Yes I was? "Do you want Jesus to be ashamed of you at Armageddon?" How could he be ashamed of a ten year old? And before who? Isn't he the King? The Commander in Chief?

Isaac

What not simplify something else?

2008-05-14T06:01:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking about the book study change. The GB uses as one of their rationales the high cost of fuel. The fuel reason is so specious. Most JWs know that the book study was setup to be closest to one's home. They are spaced out fairly evenly in a congregation's territory. I guess one could say that one less trip would help with gas. But then why eliminate the shortest trip. What about field service? Why not simplify that? Allow people to count activities close to home or even in the home that is pastoral or ministerial in nature as time? That would save fuel, money and build family relationships. All they seem to care about is studying. Note their suggestion that the book study be replaced by a family study. It amazes me just how insular these old men really are. They are disconnected from the people that they claim to serve.

I am so glad not to subject to their dictates anymore.

Isaac

More on the book study change

2008-05-13T06:58:00.001-07:00

I wonder how much of this change had to do with BETHELITE burnout. They are the ones after all who burn gas going to book studies. They benefit most because its one less trip out to the territory.

We once moved our public meeting to Saturday for this reason. The Bethelites were ecstatic over the day off. The GB being as blind as they are to anything other than their own needs, may have seen this as the best option. Add to this the desire not to knock the other gas guzzling activity, namely field service, the main mission for a dub, and you have the making of a dollar late, dollar short policy change.

Isaac

Apologies

2008-05-12T07:07:00.000-07:00

To the following apologies I add my own to any who I lead to this cultish organization.

Isaac

http://www.freeminds.org/dontletfriendsbecomejws.htm

Burnouts

2008-05-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

The following posting has a lot of merit. I know I resigned as an elder partially from burnout, or the prospect of burnout. But I also resigned as a protest. I have always felt that elders have the power to change or even partially sink this religion. Any corporation must rely on its workers to succeed. That is why striking is so effective. Maybe it is happening slowly. I surely hope so.

Isaac

This post comes from: http://governingbodyletters.blogspot.com/2008/05/bethelites-viewpoint-on-recent.html

I have edited for minor spacing, spell corrections ,and caps.

A Bethelite's Viewpoint on the Recent Organization Changes

To me the most obvious reason has nothing to do with control, or money. It has everything to do with the serious shortage of qualified brothers who can (or who are willing to) be used. I have been involved in the organization for 40 yrs and I have never seen the level of apathy and disillusionment among those serving in some capacity in this organization. There are three main reasons for this: 1) burnout, 2) lack of urgency/belief that the GT or Armageddon is near, and 3) steady erosion of faith in the organization.

Burnout is rampant within the ranks of the servant bodies worldwide as fewer and fewer brothers are willing to serve and make the extraordinary sacrifices asked of them by the organization. Elders and servants are "stepping down" at an unprecedented rate. Finding a willing replacement has become next to impossible leaving those few loyal brothers completely overwhelmed as they struggle to handle all the congregation responsibilities which, of course, include conducting book studies and giving public talks. This has been a growing trend within the organization for some time, but it has all of the sudden become especially pronounced and is nearing crisis proportions.

The other issue is that more and more of those serving are realizing that the Armageddon may not be as close as it was once thought and any sense of urgency has waned considerably. The "generation" definition change in 1995 was the first real "alert" that something was amiss. Then you add in that the number of memorial partakers has actually increased (9,105 in 2007 compared to 9,081 in 1984), plus the recent change in the understanding of the "sealing" of the anointed (thought to have been completed in the 1930's, but apparently is not yet completed). What has happened is that in the minds of many serving, the "end" is suddenly a ways off in the distance somewhere. Less and less of those serving believe that it will happen in their lifetime and they had better do something to prepare themselves for a longer stay in this system.

Finally, more and more of those serving are wising up to the cultish ways of organization and they are no longer just accepting things and "waiting on Jehovah." In the past, the organization could successfully overcome any credibility issues due to failed prophesies or waffling doctrines by writing a WT article or Question from Readers and it was just accepted. There was no discussion, no forum to question or examine what was printed, and of course, who had the time or the resources anyway. This is not the case now, however. The internet has changed everything. Anything about the organization can and is being discussed and not just anonymously online. These discussions are being carried back to the congregations, in field service car groups, and as a result the organization has (and continues to suffer) a tremendous loss of credibility among even those serving. The pedophile cover up and the scandalous UN association is becoming more widely known everyday. The legal and money problems of the WTBS, the blood issue, disfellowshipping, and other non-scriptural mandates of the organization are being questioned and being discussed.

The powers-that-be know that without willing elders & servants this organization is truly doomed. So, don't read into the "high price of gas" or the "we know that families are struggling and we want to add no further burden" horsesh*t explanation for these changes. And it ain't about control or money per se. Make no mistake, it's all about trying to stop the mass exodus of servants who are either burnout, disillusioned, and/or have lost the faith. Why do you think they have invited all the elders to the "pump me up" sessions in Patterson?

Expect more changes to come and soon. This is just the beginning - trust me.

One Year

2008-05-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I celebrated my one year anniversary of leaving Jehovah's Witnesses. I have no regrets, except to coin a line always recited at assemblies about pioneering: I only wish I had left sooner.

My life has been anything but dull. I have tuned into my job, gotten a girlfriend who loves me, and am well on the way towards winning half custody of my daughter and having enough legal control to keep her from the more drastic of fates that the WT has to offer, most specifically dying a premature death due to a flawed policy on blood. My only pain has been having lost many good friends. But when I consider the friends that I have gained, including those in the exJW meetup group I am involved with (http://exjw.meetup.com/333/) I feel like what Jesus is alleged to have said is true: One gains mothers and brothers and sisters. Which goes to show that many of the "truths" which JWs hold in such high esteem do not necessarily stand up to reality.

So here is to never going back, and to helping many more to leave and enjoy their newfound freedom.

Isaac

Worlds Apart Critique

2008-05-05T10:14:00.001-07:00

Worlds Apart Review
By Isaac Carmignani

Worlds Apart is a movie that does that magical thing that is so necessary in telling the JW story. It is a story. It touches the heart. It refrains from going into long and potentially boring dialogue on the real, alleged, or perceived fallacies of Watchtower teachings. Yet it manages to address nearly all of the major doctrinal flaws. Through conversations between the characters we learn about the blood issue, date prophecies unfulfilled, being expelled merely for sleeping over at someone's home of the opposite sex, children being baptized, shunning, kids leaving school to pioneer, the betrayal by close friends, the hypocrisy of close friends, the hypocrisy of elders who want forgiveness but won't forgive others, the conflicts inside Witnesses, the dignity stripping judicial process, the hype at conventions where examples paraded before the membership often are struggling with the religion themselves, and so much more.

Even though the movie is subtitled in English the actors show emotion in their voices, facial expressions, and body language. This fills in the gaps.

The movie is accurate in many small details such as in the look and color of WT publications.

The translation seems well done though some of the terms used in the English do not fully reflect JW speak. But that is minor and would never be noticed except by JWs closely scrutinizing the movie. Other details that I picked up were that JWs were portrayed as not being allowed to vote, which is technically no longer true. (Of course in practice JWs don't vote anyway since it is still heavily discouraged.) One other point to note is that JWs close their eyes when praying.

Recent developments in the organization are also captured such the change in disfellowshipping (expelling) announcement and the recent focus on Jesus as a kind and loving person.

I truly believe that this movie needs wide circulation. I would even be willing to help if I can be of assistance. People in the general population need to see this.

A footnote: This movie received a 7.2 IMDB rating.

Worlds Apart

2008-05-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

Last night some friends and I watched the film Worlds Apart. It was incredible. It explains in a touching and interesting way nearly everyone of the problems with WT doctrine. The non JW will enjoy this film and come away with a better understanding of JW thinking. I believe that this is important since many people do not know how damaging this religion can be until a family member is already sucked in.

One of my friends wrote the following:

"I was very surprised how accurately the witnesses were portrayed. The movie didn't shy away from the emotional toll the dictates of the watchtower has on it's members."

Truly a movie to talk about. I hope that many people are able to see this in the future.

Isaac Carmignani

The new Congregation Study

2008-04-27T12:23:00.001-07:00

Actually this "change" shows up so many of the problems with that organization. They still have a book study, still want people to study for one, and still expect an elder to conduct one. While I admit that the extra night at home is nice and they may have cut down on BSOs (we haven't seen the correspondence to the bodies yet), they are so stuck up on their "cooking" of spiritual "food" they can't for a moment see that the real benefit would have been to scrap the whole meeting entirely.

If there is anything that this does say it is something that most JWs will probably miss entirely. THIS IS A CLEAR SIGN THAT THEY DON'T EXPECT THE END TO SHOW UP ANYTIME SOON! I say this because the whole rationale for book studies was in large part future persecution, and the need to have small clandestine meetings. The GB may not be feeling that pressure anymore in the free world.

I also wonder how all of the COs who advised my elder body to push the book study arrangement will feel now. The downturn in the congregation was always attributed to a lack of following the book study arrangement. That was one reason for the change not so many years ago from Book Study Conductor to Book Study Overseer. In a place like here in NYC it was very hard to have service groups at book studies. We struggled hard to make this work. Now the "best" arrangement for shepherding is now gone. What does that say? Was it ever good to begin with? Or is a matter of a group of inconsiderate men asking people to do too much?

One good thing: This MAY cut down on the amount of work the elders and in particular the Service Committee does. Especially in a large congo such as my former one many hours were spent assigning the publishers to groups. Further renters in my area move a lot and our congo was very transient. Therefore it was a full time job tracking constant changes in assignments. Admittedly this is not true organization wide. But for elder bodies like my former one, this may be a relief provided that the GB does not replace the old arrangement with something just as complicated. The letter does mention keeping service in smaller groups.

Isaac Carmignani

Spouses and Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses

2008-04-14T17:37:00.000-07:00

For a moment let's consider the predicament of a spouse (male or female) who suddenly and possibly unexpectedly, finds themselves married to an ex Jehovah's Witness. Unless you have actually found yourself on one or the other side of this situation the thought may never have crossed your mind. For many JWs this is a worst case scenario, a nightmare. Consider a few facts:

Jehovah's Witnesses only spend leisure time with other Jehovah's Witnesses. Therefore the moment that a spouse is no longer one ALL previous friendships held in common cease. Instantaneously. This is because Jehovah's Witnesses do not say so much as Hello to anyone who has left or was expelled. No exceptions. So was he your best man or she your maid of honor at your wedding? It doesn't matter, he or she will probably not even say goodbye. One's own parents will generally disown you or at the very least have as little to do with you as they can.
So the JW spouse faces the prospect of having no social life with their spouse unless they are willing to socialize with "worldly" people (non-JWs), a no-no, or worst yet with exJWs an even bigger no-no, punishable with expulsion if discovered. They may not even have family to be with if that family is made up of JWs. Talk about totally reshaping the landscape of a relationship. Such a thing cannot even be compared to moving to another area or even another country. This is because the TYPE of people that each will be able to have as friends is now radically different. It therefore can be said that a shared social life that is meaningful and satisfying to both is in short...gone forever.

As if this was not maddening enough consider this: Jehovah's Witnesses consider their spiritual life to be EVERYTHING. Their preaching work is their career. Their numerous meetings, assemblies, and special events take up 15-20 hours weekly. Further many exJWs remain fervent Christians. The Watchtower Society's Governing Body adamantly refuses to allow ANY sharing between the current and former JW spouses of religious, Christian or spiritual ties. This is even if they are in agreement with one other on some things. This is considered punishment for the exJW and a supposed inducement for them to rejoin the Watchtower Society.

So we have one of the most meaningful and core aspects of one's personality and relationship gone forever. Just like that. That is way too much power over people for anyone or any group to have. And yet this sad situation breaks up families and leaves many children in pain every day somewhere in the Watchtower world.

Is it any wonder that when one mate begins to assert their independent thinking the other viscerally opposes? Their entire world is about to be shattered. Mind you this does not include the ostracism that can come to the one left standing in the organization, particularly if its the wife, and the shame that can come on any children involved.

Isaac Carmignani

Wives

2008-04-05T13:36:00.000-07:00

Recently I was talking by phone with a JW. He has come to the realization that he no longer wants to be one. For me a very interesting moment came when I heard his wife in the background. She was criticizing our conversation. I began to reflect on the difficulty spouses have with mates who leave the WT. His wife was complaining that it made no sense in her mind why her husband should be seeking out exJWs to talk with. "Why not just leave if you want to go?", she cries.

How unnatural such thinking is. People normally seek out support groups and forums to share common experiences. Common experiences bind people together. Why would so many JWs, exJWs, and so many of the spouses of former JWs, feel this sort of bonding is wrong? Could it be because of the indoctrination by Watchtower that forbids any going back and criticizing? Any grouping together to discuss grievances? The indoctrination that says that any discussion of JW grievances constitutes negative talk and negative thinking?

Could it be because such bonding and sharing furthers the possibility that their mates will stay out of the organization? JW spouses worst nightmare is often living in a "religiously divided" household. JWs go to great lengths not to marry "unbelievers". Wives can go from having an honored place as an elders wife to being related to an "apostate". These spouses have no one to talk with about God and the Bible, matters that are very close to their hearts, even if their mate remains Christian because they are forbidden by Watchtower to discuss "spiritual" matters with the "apostate" mate. Is it possible that in the case of my new found friends wife she hopes that he "comes to his senses" and in seeking support that possibility further diminishes? One can only wonder.

Isaac Carmignani

Staying in touch

2008-03-02T12:07:00.000-08:00

I continue to recover and come to terms with my JW involvement. I have a wonderful girlfriend. Our relationship gets stronger every day. She is a big part of my recovery.

It is becoming evident to me that I need to stay in touch with the JW movement. For a while I tried to be totally away from it. But I have family in this. Further, I have much to contribute to the discussion. Cults often change their thinking, terms used, and other identifying markers. They often call this "new light". What happens though is that former members are easily spotted as their lingo becomes dated. So I have decided to remain in touch with the religion through various means. This way I can perhaps be effective with relations who need assistance in either moderating the cults influence or in leaving altogether.

Thats all for now. The "starting over" continues.

Isaac Carmignani

You Don't Have to See Stars and Fireworks (a bit long)

2008-02-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

In my life once the religion went the marriage went as well. And sadly my ex is going back to the JWs. Maybe one day she will see how badly they are using her. I hope that she finds out early enough to enjoy her remaining years. This is for her and all the others who wonder why JW marriages fall apart. Here are some thoughts that I posted a while back on http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/.

Watchtower, you have taken away our souls, in some cases our lives, and for many a fighting chance at finding true love and happiness. How have you done this? The ways can and have filled books. Here I want to discuss one in particular. That is our ability to find love. While you brag about marriages being happy inside "God's Organization" I would bet that the level of unhappiness, separation and divorce is almost as high as anything seen in the population at large. If the JW divorce rate is lower it is probably because of your controlling ways. A few years back I remember Paul Illingworth (a district overseer in the US) discussing at a circuit assembly how one sister left her husband and children to "find herself." He mocked it, endeavoring to get a sarcastic chuckle from the audience. I wonder if he ever considered that this sister may have lost her self identity because of Watchtower's oppressive policies. Let me name a few:

The magic of Agape love: "You don't have to see Stars and fireworks."

My ex-wife was told this by a "mature," older sister when she complained that while I was a nice guy she did not feel that special turn-on she always felt should accompany true love. This sister described her own marriage in "the truth" and how that special feeling, even if you have it initially, goes away. What matters is that he is stable, loves Jehovah, and will take care of you. Needless to say this is NOT always enough. But why did this sister come up with this rationalization? Could it have been because WT spends so much time focusing on the perils of sex and how "principled" love is what counts? Could it be because many Witnesses are forced to think this way because they are not allowed to look elsewhere for companionship? The fact of the matter is that even if that initial spark felt starts to dim, the couple can go back to it and rekindle it. And there are many couples who have found that their love has grown deeper with time, that the magic is still there and the stars and fireworks shine very brightly.

"What will the congregation think?"

About five years ago we had a young man and woman in our congregation who were madly in love. And they were very passionate in expressing it. One might say that they "saw stars and fireworks." She was a few years younger than him; he was in his late teens. They were so into each other that in spite of their parent’s efforts they snuck time to be alone in his car to make out. Being that she was underage while they went out in his car, they came home in a police car. Even so their relationship persisted. Now this would seem like a great story of romance. But there was one problem. And it is one that occurs often in the WT organization because it insists on being an organization first and foremost. Their relationship was not allowed to grow (or flame out) naturally. I know because I was one of the elders assigned to "counsel" them. I thought I was doing a great thing too. Her we left alone. Him however we kept tormenting with questions like: "What are your intentions with her?" "When are you going to put a ring on her finger?" "You know if you want privileges in the congregation you either have to make a clean break, or take it all the way. Do you think she would want a brother who can't be used?" And the big one: "What will the congregation think if you keep dragging this on?" Now bear in mind that we are talking about two very young people who rather than being allowed to develop a relationship naturally are being pressured into making a lifelong commitment. This so that a congregation composed in large part of strangers could be happy! In truth most of the friends in that congregation could have cared less. But the elders, traveling overseers and certain nosy people would. Now is this a basis for good decision making?

What happened to the couple? Well, they married and for a while they seemed to thrive. He made great money, bought several houses and by age 25 he could realistically say that he was closing in on financial independence. Given a few years and he would have been appointed as an elder. He was viewed as one of the most stable ministerial servants that we had at the time. He was used in every way possible. Until one day he disclosed to me and the presiding overseer that he had committed adultery. After that everything fell apart. Of course the couple remained together. Witnesses are made to frown on divorce. Even in situations where there are no children involved as was the case here. So she was told to make another life decision, namely to decide quickly whether or not to stay with him. This decision needed to be made quickly even though she did not have had sufficient information, time or experience with which to make it. After all "what would the congregation think?"

It is impossible to go into greater detail because of the confidential nature of their situation. Verifying what I have described is of course impossible. But for those of you who have been around Jehovah's Witnesses you have probably seen some version of this happen in your congregation, amongst your friends or in your family. It is very common. Decisions must be rushed. Engagements are often made quickly for the "sake of the congregation and the good news." Relationships cannot either grow or flame out on their own. There is often simply too much pressure. This also leads to some other interesting scenarios. For example, to avoid some of this pressure, many young men (the girls rarely are to initiate relationships) refuse to date inside their congregations. That buys the guys some time and privacy. (Of course if those girls don't go to other congregations themselves, they are left with slim pickings. And if they do get out, they can be branded as sluts or as "loose.") When these guys go out though they often find that the pressure is still on. There are meetings to attend and field service to go out in. The guy must continue to do these things. Now if he does this in her Hall, it won't be long before he has to answer some questions in his Hall. "Where are you?" She meanwhile will be answering questions in her Hall: "Who is that guy?" Result, the relationship doesn't stay secret for long. And then the pressure is on. Now this is not to say that this is all bad. Or that these things don't happen outside of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Much of this happens in cultures, particularly non-American ones. But the pressures are magnified by several orders of magnitude in the JWs because of the intense focus on congregational works and reputation. Further these lovers are often still subject to cultural pressures. Economic pressures only add to the burden. Many are young and working part-time so as to pioneer. This makes it easier for them to fall into debt. It also forces them into marriages in order to combine their meager resources. Is it any wonder that with all of the activity, nosy people, economic problems and pressure on the man to have "privileges" that many JW couples never really get to date, fall in love, and determine true compatibility. Add to this that no "loose conduct" allowed. After all what could be worse than the couple putting on the "rose colored glasses" of intimacy. Therefore no passionate kissing, (my first girlfriend and I never kissed!) no premarital sex, no living together, no vacations without chaperones watching the couples every move (no matter how old the couple is) and no time alone in secluded places. While these prohibitions can have some benefit, the uniform and unbending enforcement has not brought peace and stability to Witness marriages. Let alone true love. It is more designed to keep an organization together than to keep families together. And in the end even the "principled" love tends to disappear.

"Jehovah has HATED a divorcing."

This comes from a Scripture text in Malachi (a Hebrew prophet). It seems to refer to adulterous husbands in ancient Israel who allegedly would scheme to leave their wives after their prime for younger women. At least that is how WT applies it. There is no question that this can be an immoral and disgusting practice. But is this what people are always doing when they get a divorce? Many, many Witness couples stay together "for Jehovah." If that is not bizarre I don't know what is. Couples would normally stay together for each other. Maybe for children. But for an ancient God who they have never seen nor heard from directly. What does he care? Further, how do we even know what this Jehovah meant by a divorcing? The fact was that this same God allowed divorce in his "perfect" law which was in force in Malachi's day.

Today we have "no-fault" divorces, divorces due to marriages of convenience no longer being convenient, incompatibility, uncontested divorces, and so many more. (Why I know of a couple who obtained a paper divorce for employment reasons.) Does this text in Malachi cover all of these? If we were to go by that text in Malachi we MAY be able to say that God detests divorces done in order for one person to get a younger mate leaving the other with little or nothing to live on. Who wouldn't condemn that? But that is certainly different from many of today's divorces.

Interestingly, many of the Bible's prohibitions, when examined closely, appear to have been laws put in place to protect the weak and the innocent. Most notably women and children. For example, fornication was not a capital offense in Israel. Rather if one committed it, the woman was to be taken in marriage. Later divorce was not an option. The only one who could overrule that was the father. It may have been like saying: "If you break it, you bought it." Women in ancient Jewish societies were considered tainted if they lost their virginity. Proof of virginity was needed for marriage. So enforcing marriage would make sense for her protection. And if enforced probably kept men from "sowing wild oats" just for pleasure. Furthermore, men could still get other wives if the first one was not their true love.

Other examples that seem to bear out the point of protection for the innocent would be the fact that in censuring and limiting divorces inheritances were protected, income for older women who could not simply remarry was guaranteed, and fatherless families were prevented. Where such things happened due to either unforeseen mishaps or violation of the Law other laws were written (such as the gleaning laws) to compensate. One very powerful compensation measure was brother-in-law marriage. (Mind you this was essentially enforced adultery if one were to use Christian standards. Yet WT says that the Mosaic Law (written by Moses allegedly at God's direction) was "perfect.")

The point is that a logical argument can be made that these laws may have not been about sex as much as about protection. This being the case, why rigidly enforce these laws today when we have other devices that can afford these same protections. We have contraception and "morning after" pills, women are no longer property in the Western world, and women can make their own money. We have laws governing estates and probate. They are not perfect. But one could argue that neither was the Law of Moses. Why not let people make their own choices. They may not always make healthy ones, but WT cannot guarantee that it will either.

"The husband is head of his wife...."

This has got to be the most ridiculous of them all. Doesn't it dawn on the Governing Body that this law was made in a time when women were FORCED to be subservient to men? That such standards would serve more as a protection for women back then than for women today? Remember, early Christians were encouraged to work with the prevailing order and not to effect change. (Paul and Peter's writings about slaves not leaving their masters reflect this mindset as well.) How can anyone in their right mind argue that men are superior to women? Or that they should be in charge simply because they have a certain type of reproductive organ? Why does someone need to be in charge anyway? Two people coming together should be about love and partnership. This is not a business. Marriage doesn't require a boss. When discussing this topic WT has been known to use pictures of a man and a woman on the bridge of a ship each wearing a captain's hat. Or two people in a car with two steering wheels. It’s almost as if they are making fun of the idea that someone would accept any other arrangement than male "headship." Why not leave Paul's advice to Paul? It would be impossible to quantify the damage that listening to husbands has caused for Witness families. From husbands who don't respect their families opinions to ones who are simply incompetent to elders who let their position take over their lives to child molesters, the list of tragedies could fill volumes.

"The wisdom of the world"...Dr. Phil, Oprah, marriage counselors, self-help materials....

So now we have a family that is having problems. They may not even be able to explain why, only that they want help. Where can they turn? To a therapist? A marriage counselor? On paper maybe. But in practice those people are considered "foolish" in the eyes of the Governing Body. They are "worldly." And the "world is passing away." And every elder seems to have heard f the therapist who recommended having an "affair" to "spice up" the marriage. So where can these people turn? To the elders. And who are these elders? Most are janitors, sanitation workers, window washers; some are even single people, young men in their twenties and early thirties, old men with corresponding old fashioned views, and other "company men" who can ONLY use the Bible and WT publications. They receive no training in pastoral counseling, and are told not to read or use self-help material for counseling. They regularly ridicule sources of help that many consider valuable like Oprah, Dr. Phil and others. Their stock advice is for the wife to be submissive, for the husband to love his wife (with little advice on what this means or how to do this) and to pray more, attend meetings regularly, prepare as a family for these meetings and be in the field ministry together as much as they can. Of course this will usually mean that the family will have little time left for one another but as Ecclesiastes says: "A threefold cord cannot easily be torn in two." Having Jehovah in your marriage is the third strand that will keep you together! Amazing. And how can they get away with this? It’s simple. Paul didn't have kids. Anyone "spiritually qualified" can give family advice.

There are many more things that could be said about how many Witness marriages are doomed before the knot is ever tied. But I have gone on long enough. If any one else want to pick this up please feel free to comment this blog.

Isaac Carmignani

Wow, its been a while

2008-01-24T06:39:00.000-08:00

It certainly has been a while since I have posted. Could it be because I met a wonderful person in that time period? My days and nights have been consumed with building a relationship with her. Additionally, I have moved on my own, and am working out my divorce. My relationship with my daughter continues to grow and blossom. What all of this shows is that the end of the JWs is not the end of life. One only needs to reach out and experience the good that the world and people have to offer without being judgmental and moralizing. Further I have reenrolled in college. My first day back is Friday.

This year I have a new goal. I am practicing something called Mindfulness. To get a good idea of what it is visit http://www.intouchmag.com/Mindfulness.html. A friend brought this to my attention. Actually the concept is one that I have become more interested in as I have pondered how to balance the 24/7 connected world which I love, and doing things well without distraction which I also cherish. I believe that the Web 2.0 world and its features (MySpace, RSS, Web Portals, YouTube, Blogging, etc) allow this if used wisely.

Oh and by the way, that picture of me, is me opening my Christmas presents this past December. Freedom rocks!!!

Stay tuned,

Isaac

And Life Goes On...

2007-06-09T22:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I can confidently say that I have no regrets leaving the religion. The freedom that I feel is something so new to me, so exhilarating. I can be whatever I choose to be. I am considering finishing school, I am so close to my degree. My mortgage has been approved and so for the first time I will own my home, small as it may be. My daughter will hopefully be with me for 3-4 days per week. She is the most precious thing that I have right now.

Tonight though I am especially lonely. I want a close relationship with a good woman, something that I have never really had. My relationships were always poisoned by the demands of the religion or my parents restrictions. Now for the first time I can have a mature relationship. I want it badly. In many ways I feel that spirituality is closely connected to finding love, love that is between friends which I do have, and the strongest friendship of them all; one that involves romance. Maybe these words all sound a bit desperate, it is hard not to be after so many years of sensory and sexual deprivation. I want everything that comes with female companionship. I have no desire to put anything ahead of a relationship. It is that important to me. It was one reason for quitting the JWs, it just so happened that the only thing holding my marriage together was obligations imposed by the JWs and saving face before the congregation. So I guess what I am trying to say is that while most things in my life is going quite well, one thing is missing. There is a hole that at times like now feels especially deep.

Isaac

My email to my former congregation

2007-05-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

Now that the time has past I can give up the surprise that I sprung on the elders before my da'ing announcement. I emailed the entire congregation! Or at least as many addresses that I had which was most of those who use email. As the keeper of the congregation database I had just about everyone's address. I did a Bcc so that the email would seem to go only go to the person reading it. And I didn't DA myself publicly but left things up to everyone's imagination. Hopefully when some people heard my announcement this past Tuesday they thought: "Wow they got rid of a good elder because he asked a few questions?!" Anyway below is the text of my email in case anyone wants to do something similar.

For the elders I did something different. I emailed all of them my letter, expressed my concern for them all and wished them the best. Further I left it up to them to keep in touch, my door is open. Then finally I personally I emailed three close friends on the body with a personal message. One was in my wedding, funny he is the only one that hasn't responded!

"Greetings everyone. I wanted to take a moment to say a couple of things. It was a pleasure working with and serving all of you. I can truthfully say that I love all of you. We had many good times, and I thoroughly enjoyed doing the School for the ten years that I conducted it.
My reason for sending this email is to explain why I have been absent for nearly a year.
Let me ask all of you something: How much independent research have you done into the Bible? How much independent checking into what we believe have you really done? I know as an elder I took this very seriously. It was my duty to be certain that what I was teaching was accurate and truthful. As I dug deeper it became clear that a lot of it was truth. And almost as much is just human speculation and to be honest arbitrary. And following the shifting teachings of men was not was I was into.

Friends, it is extremely important that you check and not simply take things for granted. Look into this religion's history. Answer questions such as why would it have just paid over 10 million dollars to settle 14 child abuse lawsuits throughout the United States while at the same time condemning other religions for having the same problem and saying that Jehovah will punish only those religions? Why would it work you to no end, demand more and more of your energy and time while promising a tribulation and Paradisethat never seems to come? And why has it been doing this since 1879? Why would it insist that suspected child molesters go from door to door and risk endangering the lives of the public? And finally why can't the Society properly address Jesus' words at Luke 21:8? " 8He said: "Look out that YOU are not misled; for many will come on the basis of my name, saying, 'I am he,' and, 'The due time has approached.' Do not go after them. "

These issues I am raising because I spent years teaching this congregation. And I believe that if I saw these things and never attempted to tell you I would be blood guilty and my conscience would never be at ease. The burden now rests with you to check. Remember this: Truth can hold up to scrutiny. Truth has nothing to fear. And no one has the right to tell you not to do research. That is your personal choice. Remember what Paul said: "Where the spirit of Jehovah is, there is freedom." A good place that is not hostile to us is PBS's site: www.knocking.org/dvd_orders.lasso. Go read the brochure that comes with the DVD.
isaac_carmignani@yahoo.com is my new email address. Any of you who wish to talk more or keep contact with me can do so there. I will keep your correspondence completely confidential as I did for the eleven years that I served you as an elder."

Warm Christian love,

Isaac Carmignani

A brand new start

2007-05-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

On May 8, 2007 I formally disassociated myself from the religion known as Jehovah's Witnesses. What a sense of freedom that has produced in me. I have further decided that this religion will be in my past. I do not intend to let it define me. That does not mean that I will not keep some contact with it, it is my roots after all and the religion of my immediate family. But I am starting fresh.

There was other big news this week. Watchtower Society settled out of court on sixteen child abuse lawsuits and placed gag orders on the plaintiffs. (Parts of the statement below is copied from another source.) It is referring to lawsuits brought against the Watchtower society for mishandling molestations within the organization. These cases were profiled on Dateline a few years ago. Many children were hurt. These 7 cases were settled out of court for undisclosed amounts. It proves the watchtower holds some guilt for covering up molestations and not reporting them to authorities. They are doing what the Catholic church did, pay off the victims with gag orders and keep it all hushed up as much as possible. What is sad is, most Jehovahs Witnesses will not know about these settlements. When I wrote about this to my former congregation this week, I received one response back. The writer, a friend no less, simply said that these are bad thoughts, and that I should never contact him again!

The average JW does not realize the dangers their children face because no one usually knows who might be a pedophile within the congregation. And of course the public doesn't know when a pedophile might be knocking on their door and if the parents aren't home, the child may innocently open the door to danger. No more danger than any other religion I suppose, except that other religions don't come knocking at your door as much.

The main problem is with Watchtower policy in insisting on two witnesses to any wrongdoing before even considering any action and also in not reporting known abuse to authorities in the past. They have changed to where they will report abuse in states where it's required by law, but only AFTER calling headquarters and speaking to a Watchtower attorney.

All of the Napa, California cases were settled. The document said there were seven cases all coordinated under one lead case. Included in the settled cases was a San Diego lawsuit. That's the one where Rick McLean, the molester, who is on the FBI's most wanted list, molested many JW kids over a twenty year period. Some of the victims sued the Watchtower Society as well as a number of congregations. America's Most Wanted website said that over the years many JW victims came forward to the elders in congregations where McLean moved to and accused McLean, but since there weren't two witnesses to the molestations, the victims were not believed. Of course, nobody went to the authorities. For more information see:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/133819/1.ashx

Isaac

What I did before...

2007-05-02T01:17:00.000-07:00

So yesterday after I picked up my daughter from her robotics club I took her to McD's. We ate and then we went downstairs and played five great games of air hockey. We loved it. But what was so special to me was that up until last July I would have been doing something far different on a Tuesday evening. I would have been conducting a public speaking class at the local Kingdom Hall. While I can say that I had a good time doing that, playing air hockey and bonding with my daughter was far better. Besides, the JW meetings are the same information repeated year in and year out. So truthfully after ten years of teaching that course...well it would be like a professor teaching the same course every year TO THE SAME BLOODY CLASS! Amazing what JWs are put through.

Isaac

Will there one day be a shooter....?

2007-04-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

Watching the coverage for the past two weeks on the VA Tech massacre, I keep wondering if one day religious cults like the Jehovah's Witnesses will be confronted with a similar sad situation. Perhaps this keeps coming to mind because Mr. Cho reminds me of a young man I worked with in the JWs. He to is mentally ill. I had studied the Bible with him and was endeavoring to be his friend. But he was becoming more and more violent, particularly toward his family. Fortunately in his case, I successfully encouraged his family to get medical and psychiatric treatment for him. He was in and out of mental institutions several times before finally being permanently committed. I really felt satisfied that I had probably helped to avert a disaster for him, his family and perhaps many others. But in recommending help for him I went against not only the advice of my colleagues in the church but also against explicit written direction given by HQ to elders. Now with the excessive workload, guilt and disciplinary procedures that are administered by WT administrators and by the culture of that religion in general how long will it be before someone snaps? It has already been noted by professionals that this religion tends to have a higher incidence of mental instability than the population at large. One thing is certain: While such an incident at a Kingdom Hall (church) will bring media attention to this religion's many problems, it will be tragic and a needless waste of human life that is preventable if the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses would be less concerned about their status in the eyes of JWs as "God's Channel" and more concerned with the well being of their followers.

Isaac

Its in my rear view mirror, but what about friends?

2007-04-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been quite busy. What with buying a new place, running for my first real office, negotiating an amicable divorce and working on a video in conjunction with SUNY Stonybrook on my experiences leaving the JWs, I have a very full and satisfying life right now. It is truly amazing how quickly the JW experience is receding in my rear view mirror. There are so many good people in my life and in the world at large that while I miss my friends in the religion, and even keep in limited sporadic contact with them, I don't yearn for their company anymore. It is truly sad that some of my best friends, some of whom were even in my wedding do not call me anymore, but who knows what will happen as time goes by. The fact is that they may reestablish contact when the JW religion screws them over as it does all of its members.

A JW has little in his or her future other than more tract and leaflet distribution, more meetings and other devotional activities. There is no Paradise for them, no Armageddon to clear out all of their woes in spite of all of their hopes to the contrary. They stand to face a ruining of their health through overwork for the religion, with little time left over for leisure or even time with their families that does not involve the religion in some way. So being that I have been public about all of this, and I have never been rude to any of them who knows, I may well get some communication with them in the future and hopefully we can pick up where we left off.

Here is to hoping and to old friends,

Isaac

Its been a while

2007-04-05T21:13:00.000-07:00

Wow, over a month actually. And I have been busy. Losing weight, beginning to talk to women, running for the Community Education Council for District 30, taking complete control of my life and my destiny, hopefully going to contract on an apartment and negotiating an amicable agreement with my daughter's Mom. I am looking forward to blogging more and for those who I know read this, sorry for the long absence.

Isaac

What is love?

2007-02-23T06:57:00.000-08:00

This quote perhaps articulates best what love is:

"When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love - true love." Robert Fulghum

If that isn't beautiful.....what is

2007-02-15T08:44:00.000-08:00

Planetary nebula NGC 2440. OK so its a false color image. But still stunning. The nebula is composed of material cast off by a dying sun-like star as it enters its white dwarf phase of evolution. Near the center of the view, the star itself is one of the hottest known, with a surface temperature of about 200,000 kelvins. About 4,000 light-years from planet Earth toward the nautical constellation Puppis, the nebula spans over a light-year and is energized by ultraviolet light from the central star. The false-color image was recorded earlier this month using the Hubble's Wide-Field Planetary Camera 2(WFPC2), demonstrating still impressive imaging capabilities following the failure of the Advanced Camera for Surveys.

Ambushed!!! Yet happy

2007-02-14T23:19:00.000-08:00

So Monday morning I'm parking my car, hoping to go upstairs and get two hours of much needed sleep after a shift at work. I have to then get up get my daughter, take her to my Mom's in Brooklyn, and go to PT Conference when who jumps out of an SUV to block my path? Two elders from my former religion. Desperate to find me they are. Well, I figured I might as well deal with them now as they will just keeping harassing my daughter and anyone else in my family. My brother, parents and some of my close friends hesitate or even refuse to talk with me unless I communicate with "the elders." So I stop. But I say that I have to leave and therefore can't have them up.

My goodness, while I like them as people how can I answer their questions the way I'd really like to? I stand out there in the cold for a half hour, trying to be discreet, trying not to give anything away. They know how I feel, but without me coming out and confirming it they are powerless. Mind you, telling them that my reasons for leaving and not attending meetings three times a week, service one to two times a week and doing the other stuff JWs are supposed to do is because I am taking care of my health and child has little effect on them. I have a bag of groceries in my hand and am coming in from work. They even remark that I've lost weight. But none of this matters. All that they can ask is: Do you have a problem with the "organization" and the "Governing Body?" Who cares about the Governing Body. Its like asking me whether I have a problem with the political leadership of China! I am caring for myself. That other stuff is irrelevant. Of course since that would just shock them and lead to an unpleasant outcome for me, I just say: "No, not at all."

Yet I am so happy. Why? Because they are out of my life, they know that they have lost in their words: "The congregation's best teacher" and I am living LIFE. I'm rediscovering my career, giving my darling daughter an excellent education, playing with her, meeting people, working out. Who knows maybe a lovely lady will be next. While they spend hours and hours just chasing me around, and slaving for Watchtower. Good riddance.

In Watchtower parlance everyone belongs to some kind of religious class. There is the "anointed " class, the "chieftain" class (Hey I was one of them as an elder), the "Jonadab" class, the "John" class. Rest assured that I am most definitely...

Isaac (of the Ambushed yet happy class!)

Its OK to be a little narcissistic

2007-02-07T21:10:00.000-08:00

I picked up a book today that I haven't looked at in a long time. Its called Intimate Connections by Dr. David Burns. It is an application of cognitive therapy to finding and building intimacy with people. Being that my usual style is to proceed in a logical fashion with my affairs, I approach relationships the same way. Rather than guessing I like to use knowledge to advantage. I was reminded of a most fasinating concept. Perhaps its the way he put it that struck me. He mentions that being a little narcissistic actually shows that one cares for others. And it makes perfect sense. When one cares about their appearance, when they care about how they appear to others, they show that they care for others and how those people feel. Amazing, that caring for oneself means caring for others. So it is my desire to be just a little narcissistic.

Isaac

Ted Haggard

2007-02-06T23:11:00.000-08:00

Just before coming to work I was watching AC360 on CNN. There was a report on Ted Haggard http://www.tedhaggard.com/. I started thinking about religion, its requirements, gays and related subjects. And it occured to me that what happens in cases like his is that these Bible rules become impossible to follow. At least not across the board. But people like Ted Haggard have vowed to. Therefore they hide their contrary behavior. Almost as if they are conflicted, unable to change themselves, yet unable to reject the theology. Interestingly Haggard had no secular skills. That reminds of a cult that I'm very familiar with. So he plans to go to college! To study psychology. Not surprising.

And then I started thinking that the healthy people are the ones who are not ashamed of who they are, including being gay. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not gay. Never will be. But you see, that just my point. I'm HAPPY with that. And someone who is gay and can be happy with that, not worried that he/she will be judged, either by "God" or humans stands a better chance of living a well-rounded life overall. Anyway, thats my $.02 for what its worth.

Isaac

Another day

2007-02-03T23:05:00.000-08:00

Well I find myself here at work, just reviewing the day's (Saturday) events. I took my daughter for the Prep for Prep exam. This is a great opportunity. Prep's strategy is to identify talented students from minority group backgrounds, prepare them for placement in independent schools, and provide a sense of community, peer support, critical post-placement services, and a range of leadership development opportunities. (For those interested here is the link for Prep for Prep: www.prepforprep.org ) My daughter is scoring in the 90th percentile for NYS exams in reading and math.

My daughter's Mom decided that she would go to a JW meeting today. I fear that she will get sucked back in and that this will become a bone of contention in the divorce proceedings. Lets hope for the best.

A good friend of mine received another visit from the "congregation elders." He just ignored them. But it goes to show what is important in this cult. They could be spending that time taking care of the needy instead of harassing people who disagree with them. In any event we are sort of enjoying this "hide and seek" game. It makes them work and who knows? One or two of them may begin to question why they are doing this.

Later today I will get back with my workout partner and resume weight training. Ah the freedom....

Isaac

The Evidence Is In

2007-02-02T14:00:00.000-08:00

Today the New York Times reported on information released by the AAAS on global warming. (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/02/science/earth/02cnd-climate.html?ei=5094&en=7f0ce59ee7d312e5&hp=&ex=1170478800&partner=homepage&pagewanted=all). Folks, the evidence is in. We need to make sure that we are doing all that we can to preserve this earth. We all have a share. Some can do more than others and there are many ways to help: From furthering energy saving technologies to reducing our personal "carbon footprint." We owe it to ourselves and our children.

Isaac

Ratted out

2007-02-02T13:45:00.000-08:00

So..after all of my activism, posting here, letter to the GB and I get ratted out, not by those things but by my younger brother! I've read these stories here many times but I still find it shocking. I called him to warn him about this cult. Ask him to do the research. He is dating a JW which in my opinion can be disastrous. He said that he understands. He says that after 30 years of service I must have given this a lot of thought. Understand that this kid has never been really devoted to this religion. He refuses to pioneer or be an MS or elder. He left my congregation years ago without saying goodbye to anyone. He tries to be his own man. He has little contact with our parents. And then within days of my call to him, he attends a meeting and visits our parents to tell everyone about my "apostacy" and how he will never speak to me again. I am truly shocked. I never expected it from that source. Now elders are calling non-stop. Of course they need me to confirm the allegations. It amazes me how this religion causes people to do things that are so unnatural.

Now they (the congregation elders) need proof. They nagged my soon-to-be ex. But she didn't bite. She won't out me, in fact she told them that she is going inactive, though not for "apostacy." So they need me to talk. And I won't. So they are going crazy. They can't hold an apostate. But they can't expel me without proof. And they know that I know the rules as well as they do. I mentored some of these guys when I was an elder. The Circuit Overseer and District Overseer have been by. I didn't let them in. So they are getting desperate. And why don't I just exit and be done with it? My parents, my friends who I still care for, my daughter being able to have some relationship with aunts and uncles and her grandparents. These are the things that get sacrificed when these religions can control every aspect of a person's life.

Isaac

Back at my desk...Mood swings

2007-01-29T22:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I am back at work. Wish I could say that I feel good. I guess in many ways I do. But right now the magnitude of starting over in nearly every area of my life is hitting me. It is truly amazing how one can feel so happy and so sad simultaneously. I have so much to be thankful for. And yet between the aftereffects of being controlled by a phony religion and rearranging my entire personal life, including beginning to look at dating, well...I guess change is not easy. I am going through a divorce now. At forty I'm not old. But beginning everything over is BIG. I mean I'm not starting fresh in everything. And I began changing my affairs 3-4 years ago. I have a life outside the JW "organization." I have some awesome friends, some right here at work who are being a tremendous source of support. I have money and once the divorce is finalized I may look at a house or condo.

But sometimes it just seems like so much. Even so I refuse to look back. But sometimes I feel as if the loneliness is killing me. Now the "elders" are after to me to "encourage" me. Making surprise visits to my apartment and scaring my daughter. I already wrote that resignation letter and have one ready to disassociate (the JW term for leaving officially) myself. But I don't want to break my Mom's heart. Putting me and my brother (who I am helping to bring out as well) in this cult is the only success that she has ever found in life. But if they don't leave me alone I may have no choice. I won't go through the Judicial Committee process. Too traumatic and pointless for me. I know that I'm venting and I have to work through this. I guess I just wish that I could close my eyes, open them and everything would just go away.

Isaac

Excellent replies

2007-01-28T15:54:00.000-08:00

I found this so moving and appropiate. These are replies to my letter "Resignation of an Elder on one of the xJW forums:

"There are so many things I want to quote and comment on from your letter that I decided it would suffice to say I think the whole letter is great. I loved, loved, LOVED that you addressed the overwork of witnesses and how the talks/articles on 'balance' just add guilt! I was a single mom (whose elder husband cheated on her) and a Regular Pioneer and I STILL felt like I wasn't doing enough while attending all meetings, working part-time, getting my 'hours' in, preparing for meetings, studying with my kids, reading the bible DAILY, etc, etc. All the while trying to be 'balanced' in keeping the house clean, laundry, paying bills, shopping, preparing 'healthy' meals, and live within my meager budget. That's not to mention trying to find some 'quality time' with my children. I always loved the squeaky clean homes with fit, good-looking, done up people sitting in their dress clothes (at home!) quietly reading the bible alone. GAH!! I never could achieve that!! It frustrated me to no end!! I contantly felt guilt and had no self-esteem. I am SO happy that you addressed that! I've never seen it addressed before in a 'da' or resignation letter. I'm so glad that you tactfully pointed out, as well, how they have no concept of living that life, as their needs are taken care of! I, too, will print off your letter to share and refer to."

Amen sister. This next one is from an exmissionary recently returned from Cameroon, West Africa:

"The FACT is that the JW lifestyle is patently unhealthy mentally, because it causes one to cease thinking for oneself. It is very unhealthy physically (few comment on this, although you did most eloquently) because the demands of activity cause the busy elder/pioneer/servant group to miss meals or eat junk food all the time because they are never home, exercise infrequently if at all, and causes extreme neglect in families with children. Nowhere of course does the bible support this, families supposedly come first, but the community of JW looks down upon you if you put your family first. It is sick."

Thats it brother.

Then there is Bill:

"When I read that scripture from Luke 21, I reached for a pen to write it down. I must have read the scripture before but it never seemed to apply so well to the WT as it does after reading your letter. Strange how JWs can quote a scripture to condemn other religions and never see how it applies directly to their own situation."

Isaac

New Years Resolutions

2007-01-28T14:18:00.000-08:00

Well I am back in town, and I've hit the ground running. This week I will be working on getting more active with my daughter's robotics club. Hopefully doing some teaching which I love. I've lost fourteen pounds this year, and I am sticking to my discipline. I feel so free, now that I can be myself again. Its been a long time, too long. The rules I follow now are the ones that make sense for me, not arbitrary ones set by strange religions or dysfunctional relationships. Its like being reborn. There are limits again in my life to how much something can affect me. I may have fewer friends than before but they are better ones. Last night, no sooner had my plane touched down than my buddy called me on the phone asking me if I was in town. He ended up grabbing me from the airport and we went and had a great dinner at a Columbian restaurant in Corona.

I was led to believe that if I dumped the religion and got divorced that I would be miserable and lonely. No loneliness or misery here. Challenges yes. But the world is full of so many wonderful people and things to do. And if one is willing to give, even a little, they will get back more than enough. Something I always used to tell my audiences when I was a JW that "what you give, is what you get." It is so true.

Incidentally, I thought I'd explain why some call me "The Mackerel." Its not Holy Mackerel, though that is a cute coincidence. It comes from a boss who sometimes just won't leave me alone. Out of everyone at my job he loves to pick on me. But I always have a way of eluding him and leaving him frustrated. So one day this British Navy guy started working on our team and he nicknamed me "The Mackerel." He says that mackerel are slippery little fellows who always seem to avoid the sharks and other predators. For now I like the name and the description.

Isaac

2007-01-26T09:43:00.000-08:00

Well after three weeks of being out in the Mid-West I am returning to the land of my birth, New York City. :) I thought that I'd get off that sullen discussion of past lives in strange religions to talk about the present. What was I doing out in Norman, OK anyway? Basically I have been learning about and working on a package processing modernization program that the USPS (US Postal Service) and Lockheed Martin are engaged in. They have some info for public viewing including a short video at http://www.lockheedmartin.com/wms/findPage.do?dsp=fec&ci=11516&rsbci=22&fti=0&ti=0&sc=400

It often surprises me how little is understood about how mail and packages are moved from one place to another. It is often thought that this is done by hand somehow. Yet this is far from true. The automation and technology involved is complex and requires a small army of savvy techs, engineers and software developers to keep the whole thing together. This is true for all of the mailers including FedEx, UPS, Emory and DHL.

Out here I have had a blast, and I hope to eventually join the truly elite group that serves as national and international support. There are only about 100 nationwide so I have a challenge ahead of me. But whats life if not a succession of challenges? It has been said that challenges change us. They force us to find a new center of gravity, and that the way to deal with them is to find a new way to stand.

Isaac

What I mean

2007-01-25T11:11:00.000-08:00

I thought that it would be a good idea to post a little about my background since so many issues are raised by my last post. The blogger "candidlynuts" posts resonate with me because our experiences as children are somewhat similar. I was raised in the cult that she describes. And was subjected to some of the worst this religion has to offer. So often while I was young I questioned it. But I had nowhere to turn. No outside sources of information. Or at least none that I was not afraid to seek help from. (Yes cults can be that controlling.) As time went on it came to control nearly everything I did. However trying to be a rational person, I looked for ways around the rules. The ways that I found helped me deal with the rules I couldn't circumvent. About six years ago I began to investigate the true origins and belief system of this religion. But fear caused me to take no more than a passing glance at the theology behind it. The fear that grips one when they have been taught and indoctrinated to believe that even questioning thoughts will be punished by God is incredibly powerful. However, eleven years ago I had been appointed as what is called an elder, but which would pass for a pastor in most Christian religions. Acting in that role I felt that it was NECESSARY to be absolutely certain of anything and everything that I taught. Further, I had access to confidential documents that the rank and file JWs never see. So I went back to the research believing that I had a moral obligation to do so. I already knew some of how irrational this religion is.

My investigation has been thorough. There are books on the subject. I have not only read them but developed friendships with some of the authors. I have searched high and low. And my discovery was plain and simple: This religion is a destructive "end-times" cult. It has many faces which often mask its true nature in ways that groups like the Branch Davidians do not. (For any interested I can go into this further in another post or privately.) When I saw this I completely changed my method of operations. I would normally have left. But I was married into it. My little girl's welfare was at stake. My parents would be heartbroken. (The marriage was loveless but loyalty demanded that I stick with it until I could bring her out, and conclude matters in a way that was mutually beneficial, which I think has been accomplished except for a few formalities.) So I began to play a more dangerous game. I am a person of conscience and I could not violate it. But as an influential elder in my congregation and circuit it was easy to "play both sides."

So I began doing things to undermine the "organization" as it is called. Including but not limited to bending the harsh disciplnary rules to show kindness to people still in.

Additionally I knew that when affairs came to a head, as seems to be right now, I wanted to have a circle of friends and another life. When JWs are disciplined ALL of their close and lifelong friends completely disown them. I could not undergo that pain without support. So I got involved in my community. One avenue that I went into was PTA activities. I am eternally grateful to the wonderful people that I have met in that endeavor. More than I can ever put into words. I have now reached the point where I am only on the WT Society's rolls so as not to break my Mom's heart. My heart is no longer there and will NEVER go back. I resigned as an elder in protest, submitted an anonymous letter (http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/127812/1.ashx) (http://p196.ezboard.com/Resignation-of-an-Elder/fexjehovahswitnessforumfrm14.showMessage?topicID=356.topic) which I'm sure no one paid attention to and am no longer involved with the cult. My daughter is quickly forgetting all of the things that she heard there as she is just ten.

This is a condensed version of my story as the full version would fill a small novel. I post at a major site and have written and continue to write many pieces there for people to see. For those interested it is www.jehovahs-witness.com, and my handle is one that comes from my experiences and journey to enlightenment: truthsetsonefree.

A very enlightening blog

2007-01-25T08:24:00.000-08:00

Well it has thawed out some here in the mid-West. I have been exceptionally busy with work, and some personal issues. But I wanted to point attention to a blog from a poster I have been reading at a forum I visit a lot. Here is the link: http://www.candidlynuts.blogspot.com/. It resonates with me because the experiences are in many ways similar to mine. So until I can write more....

What to do with that feeling....

2007-01-20T15:27:00.000-08:00

I have spent a good portion of my life being religious. I have finally learned that religion is not required in a spiritual life. I might have realized this a long time ago. But being that I grew up a Jehovah's Witness, being a part of something big, something that is global in scope, was a big issue. It was one of the reasons why I hung around so long. I was trying to figure out what to do with that feeling. How to express it.

My feelings in this regard have evolved slowly. First I began to realize that I could use my job to fill some of that need. I work for a very large governmental entity and am part of a team doing something that benefits people.

Then I got involved in some community activities. And I began to see that arena as a place where I could fill my sense of belonging and the desire to help others on a charitable level. I became involved in a issue that I feel strongly about. (http://www.morganlewis.com/index.cfm/nodeID/D5DA17AE-885F-4225-AD2F-A61D0B70CCFE/fuseaction/content.page)

And all of that primed me for the big breakthrough. One that was so obvious once I saw it: I belong to the HUMAN RACE! That is the "organization." That is the place where I can have all of my needs fulfilled in this area. That we are all interdependent, even if we don't yet realize it. And the West is a great place to explore this as we have basic freedoms built in to our societies. It was then that I realized that I needed to make a difference in society at large, in my own small way. By my dealings with everyone. By giving unconditional love to all. By helping others when I can. By caring for myself, since in caring for myself I make a valuable contribution to humankind as a whole. That is the essence of my freedom. I hope that sharing this helps someone out there.

Ice Storms in the MidWest...and other news

2007-01-14T17:44:00.000-08:00

Well I haven't posted in a while, largely due to a business trip. I am currently in Norman, OK. We are in the midst of some severe weather. It is kind of fun watching the Okies deal with the ice. We have had stuff I'd never heard of before. Thundersleet, freezing fog, and of course regular sleet and freezing rain. Poor folks down here aren't used to that. They slip and slide...the state says that they won't be able to clear non-essential roads in a best case scenario for another 7-10 DAYS! But Marriott has been good to us. Plenty of popcorn, movies and football on the widescreen, good food. And I have another two weeks here so I wasn't trying to catch any planes.

On another note...two missing boys were found today in Kirkwood, MO on Friday. Two officers whose instincts are to be commended identified the offender from his countenance during a routine conversation. (Gentlemen, we need more like you.) What is truly strange in cases like these is how easy it would have been for the victim to escape. He was allowed to go out alone, had use of a cellphone. It seems incredible to the average person. It has drawn comment in the media and references to the Stockholm Syndrome have been made. (For those of you who would like to know more about this condition here is a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome)

This condition has not been publicly stated as a factor in the MO case, and I for one am not claiming that it is. But my curiosity was piqued because I have seen similar stories come of religious cults and high control groups. In fact the claim is often made by those who run such groups that members can leave at any time. Indeed they can in many cases. At least physically. But they can't, psycologically and emotionally, and that is what is so sad.

Isaac

First post

2007-01-01T21:41:00.000-08:00

This is the beginning of what I hope to be an informative and fun to read blog. Here I will post many things, some of which may even be controversial. Please feel free to drop me a line at isaac_carmignani@yahoo.com if you have any comments. You may have wondered why I use my real name. This simply because as I will discuss later I have reason to let people know where I stand on certain issues. Any way I have to go to work now so I will be back soon. In the meantime enjoy this beautiful image I found yesterday on the Web at http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap070101.html

Ten thousand years ago, before the dawn of recorded human history, a new light must suddenly have appeared in the night sky and faded after a few weeks. Today we know this light was an exploding star and record the colorful expanding cloud as the Veil Nebula. Pictured here is the west end of the Veil Nebula known technically as NGC 6960 but less formally as the Witch's Broom Nebula. The rampaging gas gains its colors by impacting and exciting existing nearby gas. The supernova remnant lies about 1400 light-years away towards the constellation of Cygnus. This Witch's Broom actually spans over three times the angular size of the full Moon. The bright star 52 Cygnus is visible with the unaided eye from a dark location but unrelated to the ancient supernova.